G is for Giddyup! My computer's back!

So I thought my computer died yesterday. It was extremely disheartening. Turns out, it just went on strike. It went through this phase where it wouldnt boot up. My computer's 5 years old this summer. Maybe computers age faster than humans and 5 years old is when they go through adolescence.
It definitely does have an attitude problem.
It has acne. (I've lost three keys on the keyboard and am now left with the little rubber pimples that are underneath each key.)
It doesnt like to get up for school in the morning. (It takes FOREVER to boot up.)

I need a new computer.